Sunday, January 17, 2010

Circling the drain

I've been thinking about death lately. Not mine or anyone's close to me, just the phenomenon of it, how short our lives are, how close to death we all are each day. The footage of the disaster in Haiti, the sight of so many shaken and grieving in such need may have provoked this. The other night images of children's bodies stacked and partially covered by the roadside brought a few tears. I sent some money and maybe felt a tiny piece of the pain those people are experiencing. We are so alike. We love our children, we want a home, someone to love and care about us. The circumstances of our lives are accidents of birth, or perhaps it's all carefully planned by Providence. That makes it either too complex or too simple. It's all troubling in a way that defies expression.

In my peaceful little world all is well. Today I cooked a turkey and the kids came to dinner. Not Thanksgiving redo, we had peas and rice, broccoli with cheese, and the Parkerhouse rolls they love, with key lime pie for dessert. Von brought a new friend, a quiet girl who didn't seem to know exactly what to make of us. I'm not sure I know either, but I am sure proud of them. I think my daughters are beautiful and brilliant and just plain fun. But it was fine with me when they were ready to go home, too.  Do I miss them being home? Yes and no--mostly no.

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